I think the most common question asked off all expectant parents is, do you know what you are having? I swear, if I ate a packet of crisps everytime someone asked me I’d be the most happy, yet, unhealthy, spud resembling female you’ve ever seen!
When we were expecting Isla, there was no question about it, we were definitely finding out the sex of our baby. We were at the private clinic as early as could be (16 weeks, 4 days to be precise, no messing) and 20 minutes later we left knowing that we were having a healthy baby girl and had seen her for the first, and only time, in 4D. After this scan we just had the normal NHS scans and decided not to have any further 3D or 4D scans as knowing her gender was enough for us and we wanted to leave her appearance as a surprise for the day she was born.
Often, we were met with a difference of opinion by others who definitely wouldn’t find out the sex of their unborn baby and this I completely understand. It’s not everyday in life that you allow yourself such a beautiful surprise but for us the wait was just too long. We would spend hours discussing names and allowing our minds to wander and imagine ‘her first haircut’ or ‘his first pair of trainers’ and so for that reason we wanted to know exactly what we had to look forward too and plan for.
Plan for?! I know what you are thinking, babies are practically impossible to plan for, and considering I still went for a gender neutral nursery, this reasoning seems bonkers. However, I must say there was nothing more satisfying about hanging up all the pretty pink garments in her wardrobe (in length and style order obviously) and lining out all the beautiful little frilly soft shoes that she never wore. We have all done it and I will do it again no doubt!
Second time round, I really had to stop and think about if I wanted to know the sex of our baby. Having found out first time, I thought that this time, and most probably our last time, it might be nice not to know and try the other side of the coin. This thought lasted all of 15 minutes and James was straight on the phone to Window to the Womb to make an appointment for an early gender scan.
Up until our gender scan with Isla, James will admit that he was finding it hard to bond with my bump and for him knowing the sex of our baby was a game changer. It allowed him to mentally prepare himself for having a daughter, for which he did by buying as many testosterone fueled man toys as poss (a drone and 2?!, not one, 2 remote control cars, one for each hand apparently) and that way he felt more involved. We began to talk about ‘her’ instead of ‘it’ and we started to imagine life as the three of us, two queens and… our slave boy. Jokes, we love our slave boy, I mean, King James.
This time round things seem no different and I can confirm, that despite having a child where patience is paramount, we have gained zero of it since this time 2 years ago. We find ourselves, again, disagreeing on names that may not even matter and we spend countless hours asking each other ‘what do you think it is?’. In less than a week our little minds will be at rest and we are beyond excited!
Being pregnant and feeling the little flutters and kicks is for me, the greatest pleasure ever. Nothing compares and I often feel sorry for James and all other men that they won’t ever experience it how women do. Also, why is it that babies always stop kicking the moment their daddy’s hand reaches your belly?! If finding out the gender can make James feel just half of what I do, I’m all for it!
Lots of love